This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
