Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
wat bout pragnant strippers??
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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