Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
