fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
