I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
