just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
