they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
it's great music for shaving your balls
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
