she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
