Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
