You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
