I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
