i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he was CRYING into my vagina
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
