and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
