Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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