found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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