when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
