i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
