I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I am one with the molecules
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
we're so committed to being not committed
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
