So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
