Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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