Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Welp...herpes.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
