it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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