He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
