CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
