Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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