It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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