they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
