Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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