when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
