i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
