did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Randomize
