"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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