I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
