Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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