So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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