Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
