I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
