apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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