My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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