Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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