Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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