they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
