I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
