god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize