i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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