I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
