So drunk its hurt
wat bout pragnant strippers??
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
