No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
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