You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
