brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
