You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You don't make any sense
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