I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
