just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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